OK, after this post, not another word about “the world’s biggest fake lawn”. Promise.

Such an ugly abomination, but no surprise there, I guess – esthetics and football-fandom have never formed an obvious combo.

And I also won’t tell anybody what I secretly hope will happen, because Schadenfreude is such a pathetic and ugly sentiment. And of course nothing will happen. Even if in case of heavy rain (which of course never happens in Berlin in June/July), of course the relevant Berlin authorities will have learnt from others with experience with plastic lawns of that size – which is …. erm … many …., and will have made sure there is proper drainage.

And if on the other hand it gets very warm, which of course also never happens in Berlin that time of year, so that the material becomes too hot for dogs and children, not to mention starts to emit toxic gases which will also mainly target dogs and children, there will be proper warnings of that fact.

Because experts will have been consulted. Because it is Berlin. (Where is the sinking heart emoji when we need it).