And yet – I have to write this down.

I must start by saying that the following by no means describes the majority of people I know who have kept in touch in the past six months and been extremely supportive and on many occasions have offered and given help. Or just little signs of life on Facebook. Not to mention the encouragement and support I got from my brother and sister-in-law and niece in Denmark, in phone calls, whatsapps, and perfectly timed visits.

But some people (not many, and I would only call them acquaintances, but nevertheless people I would see socially on and off) completely stopped contacting me after I informed everybody about my breast cancer diagnosis and looming radical, double mastectomy. As in, not one word of good luck or anything.

I am aware of the fact that being sick, and particularly with a life-threatening disease, is very politically incorrect, especially in Berlin. And people who are going to be in hospital, and – who knows – perhaps in and out of hospital, and – heaven forbid – might even need help from time to time, are considered by many, to be just too much bother and inconvenience.

So being dropped like that in itself does not bother me. I reckon they were not worth the time of day to begin with, so that there is no reason to waste any more time on or with them.

What bothers me, and what is really making me wonder about humanity, is when some of the same people are now contacting me chirpily without mentioning “it” at all. Not one word about what has been happening in my life the past six months or “good to see you are back on your feet” – NOTHING. As one person wrote: I see you were in Sankt Peter-Ording. Can you recommend a spa and some good restaurants there? Just like that.

As I have mentioned before, a cancer diagnosis, followed by major surgery, no matter the outcome, is a big deal, and I am not expecting people who have not been in the same situation to understand the enormity, but common courtesy goes a long way. And although I AM trying to pick up where I left off, that is not going to happen one hundred percent. I will never be the same person I was before. So for people who knew me earlier to callously and shallowly think they can get away with completely ignoring what has to me been a momentous life event – I am very sorry, but that is not how it works.

So a major purge in various contact lists is in progress.