I am having to learn and re-learn that Max’s signs of stress/anxiety/insecurities stem from him thinking something is expected of him but not knowing what or how to carry it out, and I have consequently responded in a way that perhaps reinforced his anxiety rather than alleviate it.

For example, the minute I wake up (and earlier also a couple of times during the night), he comes to me, trembling and whimpering, and I have taken that to mean that he needed lots of affection and reassurance, and – considering his occasional “leaking” – perhaps also a quick toilet trip outside. Our days therefore started with me showering him with affection and then throwing on yesterday’s clothes and taking him downstairs – before I even had my morning coffee – many who know me would have considered that a physical impossibility.

Yesterday morning and this morning, all I have done is tell him, lovingly, to go to his pillow, which on both mornings he did, even with a spring in his step as if to say that was all he needed to know, and immediately curled up. And I have had my morning coffee before anything else, including feeding him.

So I keep having to remind myself that the type of reassurance an anxious dog needs is to be asked to go back to sleep. Or, as in the cases where he gets really nervous when the doorbell rings, I tell him to go to “his” room, he also goes off, seemingly happily, almost as if relieved that he does not have to deal with this at all.

I should also stop second-guessing him when it comes to the need for a pee. He shows that need very clearly by sitting by the door and looking at his leash, and he actually does not need that first-thing-in-the-very-early-morning trip downstairs as long as we have been out at some time during the evening.

The chart which Astrid sent me about “happiness psychology” depicting results of studies showing what a dog needs in order to be happy (vs what a human needs, for comparison) will have to become reflected in the way I handle Max: Human happiness: 70% affection, 20% Exercise, and 10% discipline. Dog happiness: 20% affection, 40% Exercise, and 40% discipline.

Which probably explains why Max is already resigning himself, seemingly quite contentedly, to a couple of the other new house rules: He is, for now, not allowed on the sofa or the couch, and he has to sleep somewhere other than in my bedroom. Much harder for me than for him 😊. More about this in one of the next posts.

Feeling a lot better and even optimistic after today’s session with a new trainer, a trainee dog trainer who as part of her education offers free sessions.

Her theory is that Max’s stress issues (my worst nightmare – that he bites a child because I did not see it coming – remember? – or that he causes a couple on an e-roller on the pavement, coming much too close and much too fast, to have an accident because he lunges at them) have less to do with too many stimuli on the streets than with his belief that he is expected to protect me as well as himself.

Astrid’s methods are based on what life used to be, or is, like for dogs in the wild. This means a whole new set of house rules, 12 to be precise, for Max and me in order to reinforce the hierarchy at home, or to use a cliché – to establish me as the alpha male to a much larger degree than now, with rights and privileges which the rest of the pack (i.e. Max) does not have, and as one who does not need protection. So there is lots of concrete stuff to work on and it will be interesting to see if, with time, it changes Max’s behaviour outside of the home.

We have already been observing some of the rules from the beginning, at least up to a point. For example, that it always has to be me who goes through a doorway – any doorway anywhere – first. I just need to be 100 percent consistent from now on instead of 90 percent :-).

Another one – completely dissociating his eating from my eating, and that my meals have nothing whatsoever to do with him – were already in force from the start, and I think he had already learnt that in his previous foster family. He learnt immediately that he can’t enter the kitchen unless I tell him that it is OK, and he never tries to beg food, even when I eat on the balcony and he is sitting right next to me. The new rule is that from now on, I have to eat first before I feed him, and not vice versa.

On this week’s me-me-me day, I went to an exhibition for the first time in about a year. It was great to see art “in the flesh” again, and even greater that it was not crowded at all, so I was able to play a bit with long exposures, also afterwards while having a coffee outside the hangar.

I also took a couple of photos on the way home:

I unfortunately forgot to record the walk on Komoot, but I was glad to be with other people since there was no internet service, so I would have gotten terribly lost.

We walked from Lanke Dorf north of Obersee to the former university and other buildings and the Goebbels Villa. Back south of Obersee, which is surrounded by beautiful forest, the grounds of which were covered with bright green, sunspecked moss.

In total, Max and I walked about 18 km on Sunday.

A beautiful cemetery, sloping down towards a lake more or less in the centre, with thousands of big old trees and many bushes. Not great for bird photography, for some reason, at least not today, or not this month, ……

After a good session yesterday with zenmeister Nicola the dog whisperer where Max and our homework got a lot of praise and she said she saw a big improvement in his confidence and attentiveness, I feel more confident myself, and that I am doing something right for once in my life, so no more thoughts of euthanasia (not for Max, and not for me ….) this time around. Instead, I feel like cooking again.

Masala Bell Pepper Curry

2 medium-sized green bell peppers, trimmed and cut in bite-sized pieces

Spice Mix

• 1 tsp oil
• 4 tblsp very coarsely chopped cashews
• 1 tblsp sesame seeds
• 1 tblsp coriander seeds
• 1 1blsp coconut powder (I blitzed dessicated coconut in the spice grinder)

Gravy

• 1 tin tomato (I don’t care what anybody says – they just have more flavour ….)
• 1 tbslp ginger, chopped
• 1 tblsp green chili, deseeded and chopped
• 2 tblsp oil
• 8 fenugreek seeds methi dana
• 1 tsp cumin seeds jeera
• ¼ tsp turmeric haldi
• ⅛ tsp asafetida hing
• 1 tsp red chili powder lal mirch
• ½ tsp sugar
• 1 tsp salt
• ½ tsp garam masala

• In a pan, heat 1 teaspoon oil. Add cashews, sesame seeds, coriander seeds, and on a low flame, stir fry them for about 2 minutes. Turn off the heat and add coconut, stir. After the mix comes to room temperature blend it using about a dl of water and make it into a paste and set aside.
• Blend tomatoes, ginger, and green chili into a paste. Set aside.
• Use the same frying pan, heat the oil on medium heat, oil should be moderately hot. Add cumin seeds, fenugreek seeds and asafetida, stir for a minute, then add tomato paste. Add turmeric, salt, sugar, and red chili powder. Stir fry for about 2 minutes till the oil starts to separate.
• Add the spice paste and cook for 2-3 minutes, stirring. Add bell pepper, stir, add 1,5 dl water and bring to a simmer.
• Lower the heat to medium low and let it simmer for about 6-8 minutes, until bell pepper is tender.
• Gravy will thicken as it sits, if needed add more water.
• Sprinkle the garam masala and cover the pan till ready to serve.

Aloo palak (spinach with potatoes)

• 2 medium-sized potatoes cut into small pieces
• 1 bag spinach, chopped
• 1 tin tomato finely chopped
• 4 tblsp oil
• 1 tsp cumin seed
• 1 tbsp gram (chickpea) flour
• 1 tblsp ground coriander
• ½ tsp red chili powder, to taste
• ¼ tsp turmeric
• 1 tsp salt
• ½ tsp mango powder (amchoor)

• Heat the oil in a saucepan. The oil should be moderately hot. Add the cumin seeds, and as they crack add gram flour. Stir for about one minute till the flour becomes aromatic and turns a light golden brown.
• Add tomato, coriander, red chili powder, and turmeric.
• Stir-fry spice mix for a couple of minutes.
• Add potatoes and a dl water, cover the pan and let simmer. When the potatoes start to become tender but not mushy, add the spinach and cook for another couple of minutes.
• Add more water if needed – this dish should be moist – not very dry. Stir in the mango powder and serve.

IN PROGRESS – STILL TO COME: AN ABANDONED AIRPORT

Max is getting good at this – muzzling up, going on public transport, staying in a hotel, keeping quiet during my meals. He is still super excited and a bit erratic initially in new situations, but he is getting more and more easy to handle.

Initial impressions from Hennigsdorf:

Schloßgut Schwante (a trip which I had organised on meetup.com): Quite interesting sculptures in a lovely park, and an even lovelier garden café.

And then this walk on Komoot (with a couple of detours so we ended up walking about 22 km in total that day). Here are some of the photos – more to come:

I am now realising that dog exercise is not counted in distance but in number of active hours per day, and for a dog like Max this should be an average of 170 minutes and a mixture of walking and running. His Tractive GPS and the app make it easy to see and maintain a daily average.

To get into a routine, I will take him to the dog park in Hasenheide on alternate days. He likes to run around there, and it is a pleasant six km walk there and back, mostly along Landwehrkanal to Admiralbrücke and through a sort of elongated park, so OK in terms of traffic.

On most of the other days, we will go further afield for a nice long walk (+-15 km) in a forest, round a lake or two, or whatever can be reached by public transport.

On top of that, I feed him about half his daily dry food, one pellet at a time, by hand by throwing it into the air, making him jump up to catch it, or making him run from one end of the living room to the other many times. This ought to be good exercise too.

Oh, and at least once a day we walk up to the sixth floor. This should have him, and me, covered in terms of exercise.

Here is Max supposedly making friends with Nigel – a Rhodesian Ridgeback: https://youtu.be/qL6Ft_nRr5E.

To where? You might well ask. Dabendorf is a stop on the lines RE5 and RE7 between Rangsdorf and Zossen. I was joining a meetup to visit the “forbidden bunker city” in Wünsdorf. This could have been easily reached on a day trip from Berlin but I thought I would treat myself to a nice, two-night getaway and start getting Max used to not only public transport but also hotels, not to mention walking for hours with a lot of other people. (He loved the added attention and cuddles).

I still can’t claim that Max was at ease on the outward train trip – he remained standing and very alert all the way, but was again much more relaxed on the return journey.

We stayed at Flair Hotel Reuner. They could not have been more accommodating towards Max although he still gets jittery and unruly in new situations. Nothing but kindness and smiles for all staff.

Here are two photos taken on an early-morning walk along fields behind the hotel. It was so quiet there, and judging from Max’s gait and stance, he loved that.

Sunday was the above mentioned meetup in the group Berlin Nature Meet, along this route: https://www.komoot.com/tour/439214363. I forgot to record the first bit from the station in Wünsdorf. Including our early-morning walk, Max and I walked a total of 24 km that day.