After an hour of gymnastics and an hour with the instructor in the fitness room, it took some convincing to go for a walk in the afternoon. It was also very foggy, so I did not go far.
Bootcamp continued
Sunday – a day off
With the Corona restrictions, and a very small fitness room, the access to the use of a yoga mat and hand weights is pretty much non-existent, so I am unable to do the exercises I need to do every day (weight-bearing and stretching).
My room is nice and big and has plenty of floorspace, so I have now ordered a foldable yoga mat and some therabands on amazon, and then Gabi Fastner will have to come to the rescue yet again :-). I really don’t know what I would have done without that woman the last couple of years, except gone fat and stiff.
Last night in the zoom course, we were given the assignment to submit six photos that are questionable technically but perhaps still worth keeping for one reason or another. I thought then that – nah, I have too many other things in my head, I am not even going to think about that assignment and will probably not submit any photos this time around.
And then today I went out and took a sh..load of truly cr.. photos. It was such a bright day, and there is so much light here in any case, that I had trouble exposing properly, and – also because of the bright light, I could not really see what was going on on the camera screen, so the full extent of the disasters were only fully revealed to me when I got back to my room.
And to top it all, I ended with a double exposure which, although fun to play around with, I find quite tacky but it is easily done by mistake on my camera.
Still, I find it all quite amusing so I am adding some of them here.
I walked a total of nearly 20 km. Here is most of the route on Mapmywalk.
And finally, rounded off the day with mussles steamed in white wine in Restaurant Buongiorno very close to the clinic.
Finding my bearings. It’s a bit like bootcamp
I and one other newbie were met at the station in Heide(Holst.) and chauffeured to the clinic. Check-in and first introductions. Everybody is very friendly and all is running smoothly.
First thing Friday, blood etc tests, and consultation with a doctor to establish a plan of action.
Had my first neck- and shoulder massage by a super nice masseuse. Later, she will also have a go at the area around my scars, which feels very tight.
Today introduction to the back exercise sessions, and used the fitness room and the swimming pool (swimming felt a little weird, but good), before the zoom course mentioned earlier.
And then I expect yet another good night’s sleep – it is completely quiet and pitch dark here :-).
By the way: Let’s get the Corona rules out of the way: Everyone wears masks everywhere and at ALL times except in one’s own room, while eating, and while in the pool. Even in the clinic’s café we have to put the masks back on between sips of coffee, even if we sit meters away from the next person. Luckily, so far, we have a lovely Indian summer and are able to use the terrace outside the café. Visitors are not allowed anywhere in the clinic. We self-test every morning and keep a record, signed, and they trust us be truthful (considering the vulnerability of some people here I doubt anybody would be stupid enough to not be). Every Friday, we hand in the recorded results and pick up new tests for the week.
Mealtimes have been split into two shifts and organised so that only two people sit at each four-person table at the same time, and diagonally across from each other, and at the other shift, the next two people sit at the other seats. Sounds complicated, but it works really smoothly. It does mean that everyone has one designated seat throughout, which kind of limits the number of people one gets a chance to talk to, but on the other hand, people leave and new people arrive three times a week anyway, which is not conducive to making permanent friends. There are group activities, and in addition “extracurricular” activities that we can sign up for if our busy (I’m not kidding) schedules permit, such as qi gong, pilates, yoga, and walks.
A couple of photos from my walks in the area and in the garden surrounding the clinic.
Here some from a quick morning walk around the garden on a misty Saturday morning:
And here it becomes really obvious that Lightroom is not the best software for post-processing of Fujifilm photos. Grainy, wormy …. It is conventional wisdom but my brain is still a bit too fuzzy to even think about learning the software (Capture One) that everybody recommends.
On my way
Armed with a negative PCR test from yesterday, I am excited to be on my way to Sankt Peter-Ording for my “Reha”. My “main” suitcase was sent on its merry way on Monday. I can relatively comfortably lift the smaller suitcase with the things I prefer to keep with me in my chronic mistrust of the German courrier services.
Three weeks have been booked, but I have heard and read so many good things about Hamm Klinik Nordfriesland that I am already hoping to stay for one more week. My sickness insurance approved maximum four weeks, so it is up to the medical team there to decide. I am not quite sure which criteria I will have to fulfill.
I am not very familiar with the concept of Rehabilitation. I remember that when my brother and I were children, in Denmark in the 1950s and -60s, there was talk of our mother going on “rekreation” after two (unrelated) major surgeries. I can’t remember if she actually went. Back then, I think the idea was that housewives needed rest directly after leaving hospital in order not to be expected back in the kitchen immediately. Our father was never like that , but he did work 24-hour shifts, so that could have been a reason our mother preferred to stay at home. In those days, in the suburbs, there were housewives all around who I am sure stepped in to help, and my brother and I were used to going in and out of our neighbour’s house in any case.
Here in Germany, these days, it does not seem to be about rest as much as about getting active (which is why I am going). I got through and over surgery very well and could have gone to the relevant therapists as an outpatient in Berlin, but whenever I mentioned that to people – medical as well as non-medical – everybody said – nonsense, you have had a traumatic experience and a very stressful time, and been through major surgery, so go, and enjoy it. When people put it that way, it makes sense, and it seems to be fairly standard after major surgery.
In the meantime, I have been trying to walk a lot, and as usual, Gabi Fastner has been coming to the rescue, just like she has done since the beginning of Corona, during the stressful couple of months this summer, and also as much as I have been able to do after surgery. At this stage, I am almost able to do almost all of her exercises.
For me, at the clinic, I am expecting the focus to be on regaining strength and mobility with pysiotherapy, gymnastics, swimming. Being close to the sea, I am of course also planning on doing a lot of walking.
Naturally, I am bringing my (to me still relatively new) camera and hope to become more familiar with it. Incidentally, before I knew I would be here at this particular time, I signed up for this on-line course, and am very much looking forward to it. James Prochnik is a great teacher. It starts the day after tomorrow, so I hope the Wi-Fi at the clinic does not fail.
When I discussed this with my gynecologist, I said I did not think that I need psychological help. She did not comment, but added it to the list. That is the only thing that makes me a bit nervous. I suspect psychologists have an uncanny ability to make one cry, and I would hope that I have “been there, done that”. We’ll see. The general advice is to go with the flow and do whatever they suggest, at least initially, and I have been looking forward to this like a child to Christmas.
The first time I was at the Waddensea (Wattenmeer) was also in Sankt Peter-Ording, and I fell in love with the region then. I have been back to other spots there, most notably several of the islands, a number of times, and more islands are on my list. I don’t think it ever occurred to me to go back to Sankt Peter-Ording, and I definitely had not imagined these circumstances, but I am very happy to be on my way there now.
Denial costs lives
I hear from and read about many people who are secretive about their cancer diagnosis, and go on being quiet about it even once they are cancer free again.
Whereas if someone has a common cold they shout it from the rooftops and act like they are at death’s door.
So why the secrecy, silence and stigma in the case of cancer, and perhaps especially breast cancer? People need to be aware of the fact that shit happens, and of the symptoms, however diffuse. We are all expert deniers. I certainly was – of all the forms of cancer one can get, breast cancer was probably, for me, the most distant from my mind.
I was negligent, which is why I am so grateful that I did not need any further treatment neither before nor after the bilateral mastectomy, and that I am now – for all intents and purposes and as far as anybody can ever be completely certain of it – cancer free.
After I moved to Berlin in January 2016, I never got my act together and found a gynecologist for an annual check-up, despite several reminders from my GP. My excuse for procrastinating in this regard was other minor needs for “medical attention” – knee problems, cataract surgery, etc.etc. – there was always something ….. those were my excuses.
I did go to the public mammography screenings, but skipped the one in the middle of Covid. I then did go to the one in June this year when the invitation came, thinking – this will be my last mammography, since they only go to the age of seventy. Little did I know how prophetic that would turn out to be.
A cancer diagnosis is life-changing. And this comes from someone who was only aware of it for less than two months. What must it be like to live with the uncertainty for years, even decades?
The way I see it is that you might as well try to make something even remotely positive out of a traumatic experience and time and turn it into a kind of awareness-raising activity.
Denial about the possibillity of a cancer diagnosis (let’s not forget that it directly affects one in three or four of us) can cost lives.
Provided my Covid19 PCR test due this afternoon is negative, I am almost on my way to “reha” – much more about that later – I wonder if the subject will be just as hush-hush at the dinner table in a facility designed to bring cancer survivors, and I think also people who are living with cancer, back to a “normal” life as it is out in the real world.
Crispy Honey Sriracha Tofu
- 14 ounce block medium firm tofu
- 1 clove garlic (minced)
- 2 tablespoons sriracha sauce
- 1 tablespoon soy sauce
- 1 1/2 tablespoon honey
- 1 tablespoon rice vinegar
- 2 tablespoons potato starch or corn starch (for dusting)
- 3 tablespoons vegetable oil (or other neutral oil)
- 1 teaspoon sesame oil
- 1 tablespoon sesame seeds
- 1 scallion, finely chopped (optional)
INSTRUCTIONS
- Drain the tofu from the package and place on a plate. Let sit for 15-20 to remove excess water. Alternatively, wrap the tofu in paper towel or tea towel to remove excess water. Repeat 3 to 4 times until the tofu is dryer.
- Whisk garlic, sriracha, soy sauce, honey and rice vinegar in a bowl and set aside.
- Dust tofu with cornstarch until all sides are coated.
- Use a medium large pan and turn the heat to high. Add oil and when the oil is hot, almost smoking, add tofu cubes. Be careful of oil spits! Fry on each side for 2-3 minutes without touching or tossing too much, until golden brown.
- Add sauce and gently coat tofu cubes. Cook for 3 minutes.
- Turn the heat off and add sesame oil and sesame seeds.
- Stir once more to evenly coat tofu cubes and serve topped with scallions.
A handful of photos from my windows and from a walk on Tempelhofer Feld 20 October
Sunday Brunch: Gram (Chickpea flour) waffles
IN PROGRESS
Vegan and gluten free. Can be frozen and reheated in the toaster.
Ingredients
- 60 g sweet potato, grated
- 60 g finely chopped bell pepper
- 40 g finely chopped onion
- 1 hot green chili finely chopped
- 1 knob fresh ginger, grated
- Pinch carom (ajwain) seeds or cumin seeds
- ½ tsp turmeric
- ½ tsp salt
- 2 Tbsp rice flour
- 130 g chickpea flour
- 1/8 tsp baking soda
- 2,5 dl water
- oil as needed
- Finely chopped red onion, and chopped fresh coriander to garnish
Instructions
- Mix all the wet ingredients except the water well, then mix the dry ingredients separately, and finally mix the two together, before adding the water. Mix well and add more water if needed.
- Let this mixture sit for 5 minutes before starting to make your waffles.
- Cook in the oiled waffle iron until golden brown and crisp, to preference.
Impressions from a walkabout in the area, including my local cemetery, 13 October 2022
I also decided to play around with polyptychs before I completely forgot how to do that :-):
Sunset, sunrise, and moonset
Rangsdorf Airfield 9 October 2022
Most of the time, the airfield is closed to the public. I had booked a photo tour with go2know.
I have no idea how the first photo happened, but I wish I knew. I like the way it symbolises how nature is taking over the entire area:
Of course this would not be me if I did not also check out downtown Rangsdorf for possible pitstops. Not much luck. Google claimed that these two were open: Café Hennig (fourth photo below) and Konditorei Wahl, but they were both closed. An Italian restaurant right next to the station was open and quite busy on this early Sunday afternoon.
